I love watching food programs. Everything from Hell’s Kitchen to Yan Can Cook, if I have spare time (and even if I don’t), I’ll be watching. For those of you with a social life, you might be unfamiliar with some of the finer aspects of modern food television. It cuts across every genre and every demographic. Gone are the days of mere instructional cooking shows or food documentaries – now, you have epic odysseys spanning several continents to find the best french fry, or some surreal dystopian competition where contestants use molecular science to cook to the death for our entertainment.
As food television becomes progressively stranger, I’ve noticed something interesting: cooking programs are pornography. I’m not exaggerating. I’m not saying, “Oh man, the Food Network is like porn,” in a joking way; I’m saying “The Food Network is porn,” in a dead serious way. Sure, one features naked people and the other features food, but at their core, they are the same.