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McGill Daily or Satire: The Game (Movember Edition)

Last year, I wrote a satirical article for Leacock’s about how discriminatory Movember is.
This year, the McGill Daily published a serious article about how discriminatory Movember is.
Below, I have compiled a list of quotes–half of them are from my satire, the other half are from the serious Daily. Try and see if you can tell which are satire, and which are real.